We Are Scientists unaffected by Mid-East crisis

We Are Scientists have been completely unaffected by the ongoing Middle East crisis, we can reveal.

 

Speaking exclusively to Pop 24 by semaphore, frontman Billy-Bob Thornton said the band were some distance from the conflict, and had no friends or relatives in the troubled region.

 

"Our drummer's great-aunt lived in Beirut for a short while in the '60s," he mused by flag-proxy. "But no longer."

Surveillance

Week ending 27 August 2006

Iron Maiden's BRUCE DICKINSON buying a USB cable in Dixons, Penrith

DANIEL BEDINGFIELD pointing at a tramp and laughing madly in Chester

MUTYA from Sugababes chasing pigeons in London's Trafalgar Square, London

CRAIG DAVID buying up entire back-catalogue of Craig David records from HMV in Watford, Herts ... and again, later the same day, in Luton

Fame Academy loser PETER BRAME gazing rapturously at own reflection in shop window on the Holloway Road, before being chased away by irate butcher for leaving greasy fingerprints on the glass

NATALIE IMBRUGLIA doing the hoovering in her house

SNOOP DOGG doing a funny little dance by the side of the road in Los Angeles

JAMELIA, just minding her own business, in Crewe

Lily Allen "disses" Captain Birdseye

Popstrel-du-jour Ms Lily Allen has sensationally slated much-loved nautical advertising mascot Captain Birdseye.

Sources suggest Allen was overheard describing Captain Birdseye as a "stupid beardy bastard" at the Carling Reading Festival, where she may or may not have performed this weekend.

Allen allegedly went on: "Who wants to eat that disgusting food he peddles to the kids? Fish fingers? Would you catch me eating that shit? No. Why? Because I'm Lily fucking Allen, that's why. Boo-ya!"

A spokesman for Birds Eye Foods declined to comment.