Morrissey accuses Gnarls Barkley of conspiracy

Morrissey has accused Gnarls Barkley of deliberately sabotaging his chances of a UK Number One single by releasing a much better record.

Ranting to nobody in particular, the ex-Smith complained that 'Crazy' was intentionally better conceived, written and produced than his half-arsed, self-indulgent dirge 'You Have Killed Me'.

"Was it any coincidence that the two songs were released in the same week?" Morrissey shouted at a middle-aged woman who was clearly trying not to make eye-contact. "I think not!"

Morrissey went on to say he would not rule out the possibility that his number three chart position was the result of a much wider conspiracy involving the BPI, the BBC, the NME and the European Union.