In a move that has rocked the world of eighties pop to its already fragile knees, girl group Bananarama have stormed government offices in the remote South Pacific nation of Fiji.
Citing deposed prime minister Laisenia Qarase's involvement in corruption and lack of leadership skills, and the refusal of the British public to support yet another unnecessary eighties comeback act, Woodward and Dallin staged a thankfully bloodless coup at around 0800 GMT on Monday. They have, however, warned that force could be used if Fijians refuse to accept 'Love In The First Degree' as their new national anthem.
Speaking from behind a bush somewhere in London, former friend of the band and current heinous druggie George Michael expressed his shock and disappointment. "I just can't believe it," he said, hurriedly pulling up his trousers. "I know 'Drama' was a flop, but they've taken it too far. I don't even know where Fiji is."
The international community has also strongly condemned the coup. Aid from the UK, US and New Zealand has been suspended, and Fiji faces expulsion from the Commonwealth of Nations. Hopes for the restoration of constitutional democracy on the islands have been pinned on UN Chief Secretary Of 1980s Relations Marc Almond, who is believed to have been parachuted in to act as a mediator. Rumours that mediation may take the form of yet another collaborative version of 'Tainted Love' are as yet unsubstantiated.
Citing deposed prime minister Laisenia Qarase's involvement in corruption and lack of leadership skills, and the refusal of the British public to support yet another unnecessary eighties comeback act, Woodward and Dallin staged a thankfully bloodless coup at around 0800 GMT on Monday. They have, however, warned that force could be used if Fijians refuse to accept 'Love In The First Degree' as their new national anthem.
Speaking from behind a bush somewhere in London, former friend of the band and current heinous druggie George Michael expressed his shock and disappointment. "I just can't believe it," he said, hurriedly pulling up his trousers. "I know 'Drama' was a flop, but they've taken it too far. I don't even know where Fiji is."
The international community has also strongly condemned the coup. Aid from the UK, US and New Zealand has been suspended, and Fiji faces expulsion from the Commonwealth of Nations. Hopes for the restoration of constitutional democracy on the islands have been pinned on UN Chief Secretary Of 1980s Relations Marc Almond, who is believed to have been parachuted in to act as a mediator. Rumours that mediation may take the form of yet another collaborative version of 'Tainted Love' are as yet unsubstantiated.
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